An open letter to Ronja from 'Fairytales and Campfires'

I remember the first time I saw Ronja's photographs on Instagram. I remember it because I got this nasty bite of jealousy and it said 'Wow, this girl lives among the most beautiful nature with her stunning horses and she is so extremely talented and popular. What a fairytale life!' Even though I know better than to judge a book by its cover, I still forged this idyllic vision of her life in my mind. Her latest post, however, reminded me a lot of my own struggles through the years and I just wanted to share what I learned in the meantime. This is my message to you, beautiful Ronja.

You are accepted and understood more than you could ever know. With this brave text you represent each and every single one of us, the only difference is that some let their struggles show, some confide them to their close circles, some deny them, some hide them... Ways of coping are endless but the problems are ever the same: self-worth, acceptance, love, purpose. 

And guess what? That's ok. Yes, it's ok to be flawed. It's ok to be nervous, shy, lonely, insecure, under stress and restless. These are not the things that define you and are also things that can change million times through your lifetime. Even the most confident and content person in the world doesn't feel like that all the time. Happiness and fulfillment aren't destinations so when you finally get there, you get to live happily ever after in the land of butterflies and unicorns. No. These are usually brief moments like meteors shooting across the sky that mesmerize us for a moment but you blink and they're gone. But here's the catch: the moment was WORTH IT. And you know that even though it's not there anymore, life can surprise you with another one in a way you could never see coming. 

Usually the things that we consider our flaws are just ridiculous overexaggerated things we keep telling ourselves in order to self-sabotage because we feel like we are not good enough, like we don't deserve happiness/success/love. And the reasons we deny ourselves love for are usually silly. 
I myself was on a very long quest of beating myself down and I did it with passion and stubborness. I did it regarding all the circumstances you can imagine: my looks, my brains, my finances, my love life, my family, my country... And the list just goes on and on. The turning point for me was a simple and powerful question that changed my life from the very roots. The question was: So what?

So what if I'm not good looking? Hell, I know a lot of not good looking people who are great, fun, loved and successful, who live their authentic selves each and every single day. So what if I don't have as much money as I'd love to? Money is just a means of exchange and the things you want to buy to entertain or beautify yourself would probably not fulfill you anyway. So what if my family is insane, everyone's is most of the time. :P So what, so what, so what. At the bottom line of every problematic issue in my life, I have never found a truly good answer to that question, an answer that would explain my stress, worry and self-loathing. 

Now, I'm not saying one should be careless about everything. But not taking life too seriously takes enormous amounts of pressure off your heavy heart. Adding a pinch of humor lightens up every situation. And please remember that while you worry what somebody is thinking about you, they are doing the very same thing at that same time. They worry how they appear to you and everyone else around. It's in our nature to long for acceptance but only acceptance that matters is the one you give yourself.

All of this is nothing new. You probably knew all of this already and perhaps I'm not even helping. But if there is one thing I could ask you to keep in mind is to remember that you are whole, you are okay, you are enough. When you are at your worst, you are enough and you are worthy of love, happiness and peace of mind. You are complete, you need not chase anything. You are completely fine. When you are erratic and depressed and hysteric and miserable, you are GOOD ENOUGH to be loved and accepted. By yourself and everyone else.

Sincerely,

Dolores

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